Coaching for Life
April 10, 2015So, a few years ago, if you had asked me what I thought someone with a life coach looked like, I’d have described someone very much like this:
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| "I'm chanting as we speak." |
Gullible, weak, easily led. Someone who hands over their money to any kind of lifestyle program, motivational speaker or spiritual leader. Someone who can’t get out of bed without having a lucky colour channelled for them or chanting affirmations about how worthy they are. Someone who needs their behaviours enabled and validated. Someone who has to "activate the goddess within".
As it happens, this is what someone with a coach looks like:
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| "It's TEMT, sweetie. TEMT." |
I know, I was surprised myself when I realised it.
Over the course of my career, I've been lucky enough to work with some pretty top-level humans.
Brilliant, funny, smart, kind, compassionate – so many of my long-term mates are all people I’ve shared an office space with at one time or another. I’ve been at my current place of employment for nine years and the people I’ve worked with have been with me through some pretty awesome life events; engagement, wedding, milestone birthday, pregnancy, birth and return to work after maternity leave.
They’ve also been with me through the “need a nudge in the right direction/kick in the pants/reality check” times and the seriously rough proper counselling and doctor’s appointment times. I've been very lucky to have such a support network and work with what I call "weekend friends"; people who you want to spend time with out of work hours and who are there for you for coffee chats, lunch, cheeky early minutes, outfit photo shoots and endless messaging via the internal communication system.
In terms of more formalised support, one in particular, let's call him "David" (because that's his name) was my official mentor via our company's mentoring program for a few years. Although he's working elsewhere now, we still catch up regularly. Partly because we're weekend friends but also because David is a coaching master.
How does it work?
Although he's had proper formal training, David keeps it at a casual level; it's a conversation, not an appointment. He allows me to bitch and whine and make petulant comments about the issue at hand without judging (and sometimes, even laughing because let's face it, I am hilarious and he's only human) before we get down to solving the problem.
He doesn't tell me what to do. He asks the questions that I then answer and this leads me to understand what I need to do, or what the real issue is, or what I need out of the situation. It's very clever and it gives me total ownership and accountability.
Throw in absolute trust and utmost respect and you have the prime example of a good coach.
Recently, I had a situation where I needed some emergency coaching prior to a "tough conversation" meeting I needed to have that was causing some significant anxiety. Not only did he make himself available for a phone call almost immediately (he's very busy and important, don't you know) but after ten minutes speaking to him, I walked into that meeting with my chin high and head clear and got what I needed with no agitation or stress on my part. Result!
How do you feel about coaching and mentoring? Do you have one - or are you one yourself?
How does it work?
Although he's had proper formal training, David keeps it at a casual level; it's a conversation, not an appointment. He allows me to bitch and whine and make petulant comments about the issue at hand without judging (and sometimes, even laughing because let's face it, I am hilarious and he's only human) before we get down to solving the problem.
He doesn't tell me what to do. He asks the questions that I then answer and this leads me to understand what I need to do, or what the real issue is, or what I need out of the situation. It's very clever and it gives me total ownership and accountability.
Throw in absolute trust and utmost respect and you have the prime example of a good coach.
Recently, I had a situation where I needed some emergency coaching prior to a "tough conversation" meeting I needed to have that was causing some significant anxiety. Not only did he make himself available for a phone call almost immediately (he's very busy and important, don't you know) but after ten minutes speaking to him, I walked into that meeting with my chin high and head clear and got what I needed with no agitation or stress on my part. Result!
How do you feel about coaching and mentoring? Do you have one - or are you one yourself?
